The Prevalence of LGBT Domestic Violence

It’s important to note that Domestic Violence occurs in every part of our community, to LGBT people of every race, ethnicity, class, age, ability or disability, education level, and religion.

While LGBT domestic violence is becoming the focus of increasing research attention, it has thus far not been examined with anything near the thoroughness afforded to heterosexual domestic violence, and attempts thus far have been further limited by lack of resources and unfettered access to LGBT communities and victims.  As a result, estimates of the prevalence of LGBT domestic violence remain highly speculative and there is a complete lack of scientific research on domestic violence among transgender and intersex individuals.

One might criticize the sample sizes and methodologies of some of the studies that have been done, but the remarkable uniformity of their findings strongly suggests that domestic violence is experienced by a large percentage of LGBT individuals at some point in their lives.  Consequently, most LGBT domestic violence researchers and service practitioners start from the point of view that domestic violence in LGBT relationships is just as widespread as domestic violence in relationships between heterosexual couples.  Rather extensive studies of the latter suggest a prevalence ranging from 20%-35%, depending on the definition of domestic violence used (see note 1).

The most recent significant study, released in 2002, indicated that gay and bisexual men experience abuse in intimate partner relationships at a rate of 2 in 5, one comparable to that of DV experienced by heterosexual women (see notes 1&2).  Island and Letellier describe it as "the third most severe health problem facing gay men today," behind HIV/AIDS and substance abuse (see note 3).  Among lesbians, a 1985 study by Gwat-Yong Lie and Sabrina Gentlewarrier reported that slightly more than half of 1,109 respondents had been abused by a woman partner in their lifetime (see note 4).  Several smaller studies seem to support this finding.  Coleman's 1990 study of 90 lesbians, for example, reported that 46.6% had experienced repeated acts of violence, and Ristock's 1994 survey of 113 lesbians reported that 41% been abused in at least one relationship with another woman (see note 5). 

Studies of other populations in the LGBT community have documented even higher rates of abuse over respondents' lifetimes.  The Portland, OR based Survivor Project's 1998 Gender, Violence, and Resource Access Survey of transgender and intersex (see note 6) individuals found that 50% of respondents had been raped or assaulted by a romantic partner, though only 62% of these individuals (31% of the total) identified themselves as survivors of domestic violence when asked (see note 7).

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Barriers in Addressing LGBT Domestic Violence

Despite the prevalence of this issue, social service, criminal justice and medical personnel remain largely deficient in their ability to serve LGBT people who are the victims of domestic violence.  Most mainstream agencies do not have any training or particular programs to provide for the unique needs of LGBT survivors of domestic violence.  In fact there is tremendous denial in the mainstream domestic violence response community and the LGBT community of the existence of domestic violence in lives of LGBT women.  When LGBT survivors do reach out, their needs are often dismissed and disregarded or met with homophobic responses about LGBT people and relationships. 

These specific barriers facing LGBT survivors of domestic violence, coupled with the obstacles facing all women seeking refuge from abuse, means that most LGBT survivors of domestic violence continue to exist in isolation, suffering long-term psychological, emotional and physical harm.  Even in the best cases, providers frequently lack the skills necessary to respond appropriately to same-sex violence. Well-meaning and otherwise knowledgeable providers often fail to identify domestic violence in same-sex relationships and consequently do not respond appropriately. 

Additionally, a domestic violence advocates may not be aware of the differences in legal protections and access available to LGBT people and therefore may refer them or manage their cases inappropriately.  For instance many of the laws and policies set up in states to address heterosexual domestic violence do not apply to same-sex couples. 

For more detailed information on domestic violence in the lives of LGBT people and recent trends seen at NCAVP member agencies refer to NCAVP’s annual reports on this topic click here . 

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Special Issues in LGBT Domestic Violence

While many aspects of LGBT domestic violence are similar to those experienced by heterosexual victims, it is not in all ways identical.  Perpetrators often attempt highly specific forms of abuse based on identity and community dynamics, including:

"Outing" or threatening to out a partner's sexual orientation or gender identity to family, employer, police, religious institution, community, in child custody disputes, or in other situations where this may pose a threat.

Reinforcing fears that no one will help the victim because s/he is lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, or that for this reason, the partner "deserves" the abuse

Alternatively, justifying abuse with the notion that a partner is not "really" lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (i.e. the victim may once have had, or may still have relationships, or express a gender identity, inconsistent with the abuser's definitions of these terms).  This can be used both as a tool in verbal and emotional abuse as well as to further the isolation of a victim from community.

Telling the survivor that abusive behavior is a normal part of LGBT relationships, or that it cannot be domestic violence because it is occurring between LGBT individuals.

Monopolizing support resources through an abuser's manipulation of friends and family supports and generating sympathy and trust in order to cut off these resources to the survivor.  This is a particular issue to LGBT people and others living in small insular communities, where there are few community specific resources, neighborhoods or social outlets.

Portraying the violence as mutual and even consensual, especially if the partner attempts to defend against it, or as an expression of masculinity or some other "desirable" trait.

Depicting the abuse as part of sado-masochistic (S/M) activity.  Domestic violence can exist in S/M relationships but it is not implicit, nor unique to this type of relationship.  Domestic Violence is not S/M, nor should any non-consensual violent or abusive acts that take place outside of a pre-arranged scene or in violation of pre determined safe words or boundaries be considered part of, or justified as, a normal S/M relationship.

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1. Lundy, S. 'Abuse That Dare Not Speak Its Name: Assisting Victims of Lesbian and Gay Domestic Violence in Massachusetts', (Winter 1993) 28 New England Law Review 273.  2. Greenwood, Gregory L, PhD, MPH (et. al.), "Battering Victimization Among a Probability-Based Sample of Men Who Have Sex With Men," American Journal of Public Health, Vol. 92 , No. 12 , December 2002.  3. Island, D. & P Letellier. Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them: Battered Gay Men and Domestic Violence, Harrington Park Press, New York, 1991, 27.  4. Gwat-Yong Lie and S. Gentlewarrier. 'Intimate Violence in Lesbian Relationships: Discussion of Survey Findings and Practice Implications', (1991) 15 Journal of Social Service Research 46, The Haworth Press.  5. Ristock, J. 'And Justice for All?...The Social Context of Legal Responses to Abuse in Lesbian Relationships', (1994) 7 Canadian Journal of Women and the Law 420.  6. Intersex people are those who "naturally (that is, without any medical intervention) develop primary or secondary sex characteristics that do not fit neatly into society's definitions of male or female." The Survivor Project, Guide to Intersex and Trans Terminologies, www.survivorproject.org/basic.html.  7. Courvant, Diana and Loree Cook-Daniels, 'Trans and Intersex Survivors of Domestic Violence: Defining Terms, Barriers, & Responsibilities', www.survivorproject.org/defbarresp.html.